What skills did I use today?

Jesse's birthday. 16 today. I don't want to post a whole lot about this, because I didn't really need to use skills in the pull-out-a-can-of-whoop-ass sense. Mostly it was wise mind about his birthday.

1. Wise mind
2. Observe- Noticing headache, hunger, desire for workday to be over.
3. Participate- half point. I was resistant about being at work.
4. One-mindfully- Wow. Not at all today.
5. Opposite-to-emotion action- Ran errands before work just to get them out of the way.
6. Build mastery- Had a 502 point Scrabble game. I've only topped 500 a few times in my life!

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- Had some events that triggered emotion mind, but reigned it in and stayed in wise mind.
2. Participate- Work.
3. Non-judgmental stance- Someone I know is always rude, but I didn't take the bait. I just let it be. I also was asked to evaluate someone's performance today and I had a very measured response, acknowledging what had happened, but suggesting motivations for why that might be. A guy at the corner store went into a meltdown when my car beeped when I locked it. I figured he's not in a good space to run around screaming like that at the slightest provocation.
4. One-mindfully- Work.
5. Effectiveness- Work and relating to rude boy.
6. Figure out interpersonal goals- Figured I need to maintain a good relationship with rude boys, despite his failings.
7. Attend to relationships- Online communication with friends. Let a coworker know she needs to be direct with me, because the wishy-washy hinting and saying she doesn't care confuses me.
8. Describing emotions- Anger. Sadness.
9. Problem solving- Work. Helped rude boy solve a problem. Well, I tried.
10. Accumulate positives- Being in contact with friends. Sharing of myself with coworkers. Helping the public at work.
11. Build mastery- Work. Rude boy.
12. Mindfulness of current emotion- Rude boy.
13. Pros and Cons- Pros and cons of being reactive with rude boy.
14. Radical acceptance- I radically accept that rude boy is an asshole and no amount of DEAR MAN will change that.

What skills did I use yesterday?

1. Wise mind
2. Observe
3. Describe
4. Participate
5. Effectiveness
6. DEAR (describe, express, assert, reinforce)
7. MAN (mindful, ignore attacks)
8. Attend to relationships
9. Accumulate positives
10. Build mastery
11. PLEASE (tend to physical ills, eating, avoid drugs, sleep, exercise)
12. Mindfulness of current emotion
13. Willingness
14. Mindful of current thoughts

Most of this is related to my DBT class and storytime at the library with the kids.

Road Trip Pics: Why the Fuck is Up with Subway?

This used to be a charming little diner out on the highway before it

gave into despair and became part of the multi-national chain.

I have no idea what this was in a former life, but I bet it was

something more interesting than a Subway.

Nothing wrong with this picture, right?

Just your basic strip-mall convenience food...

... directly across the street from a Wal*Mart with a Subway in it! And from

what I heard at Burgerville, there used to be a third Subway kitty-corner

from the strip mall but it went out of business. This, folks, is the

"country".

What skills did I use yesterday?

1. Non-judgmental stance- re: the fact that I was lying around reading comics.
2. Attend to relationships- made plans with my niece to take her girls to storytime today.
3. Problem solving- used harsh cleanser on the kitchen counter and the dish drainer in the never-ending battle against the ants. There were no ants when I woke up this morning.

What skill did I use today?

1. Problem solving

I've been ill, and this afternoon I was feeling well enough to go out for groceries, hit the library to pick up holds, do some laundry, wash some dishes. All of these things were problems that needed to be attended to.

The downside is that I spent almost the whole day farting around on the interwebs.

What skills did I use today?

1. DEAR (describe, express, assert, reinforce)
2. Attend to relationships

Describe- "In November I asked you to call me once a week and you said you would."

Express- "I'm disappointed that I am the one who initiates contact."

Assert- "What day of the week will you be calling me?"

Reinforce- "When you call me we can talk about what we're doing on the 14th."

That was a call I had with my sister. I also emailed my meetup asking them where they want to meet next week. I RSVP'd yes to a gay library event.

I did not use any skills today.

Sad but true.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind
2. Participate
3. Effectiveness
4. Figure out interpersonal goals
5. Accumulate positives
6. Build mastery
7. Willingness

Shoulder hurts from work; too tired for commentary.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- work, friends
2. Participate- work, friends
3. Non-judgmental stance- work, friends
4. One-mindfully- work
5. Effectiveness- work
6. Attend to relationships- work, friends
7. Problem solving- work
8. Accumulate positives- work, friends
9. Build mastery- work
10. PLEASE (tend to physical ills, eating, avoid drugs, sleep, exercise)- self explanatory
11. Willingness- work

What skills did I use yesterday?

1. Wise mind
2. Observe
3. Describe
4. Participate
5. Non-judgmental stance
6. One-mindfully
7. Effectiveness
8. Figure out interpersonal goals
9. DEAR (describe, express, assert, reinforce)
10. Attend to relationships
11. Describing emotions
12. Problem solving
13. Accumulate positives
14. Build mastery
15. PLEASE (tend to physical ills, eating, avoid drugs, sleep, exercise)
16. Mindfulness of current emotion
17. Willingness
18. Mindful of current thoughts

This is all mostly having to do with going to DBT, being at DBT, exercises we did at DBT, driving to and from DBT. You get the picture. A pretty good day despite a car trouble scare.

Road Trip Pics

Mt. St. Helens behind an industrial area.

Things I saw behind the place where I stopped and had a mechanic check out my check engine light. (above and below)

Trees.

What skills did I use today?

1. One-mindfully
2. Mindful of current thoughts

Distracted, farting around day. While I was at the library photocopying the pages about not multi-tasking for my todc I stood there and told myself "I am photocopying pages about being in the moment"

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind
2. One-mindfully
3. Effectiveness
4. Problem solving
5. Accumulate positives
6. Build mastery
7. Willingness
8. Mindful of current thoughts

Two things stand out from today: I was at work and was doing a task. One of my coworkers asked me if I was going to page today, or if I was going to "stand all day doing X". Well, X is a part of being a page. And it was the task I was asked to do. So I said I was doing the task I had been directed to do, but if I needed to do a different task (another coworker within earshot) needed to tell me. The second coworker replied that I was fine. As it turned out, I did stand all day doing X. Because that was what needed to be done. But I didn't let emotion mind take over and get defensive when I was being attacked. Later I looked at the schedule and it turns out that at that particular time X was the task I was assigned for that time. This coworker has a problem with me but I didn't go to management and talk about it, although emotion mind wanted to. She asks me questions about my qualifications, etc. every time I do this task.

In the afternoon I came home and read a book. "The Guinea Pig Diaries" includes a chapter on the importance of not multitasking and the author's experiments with doing one thing at a time. I felt very good that when I was reading that I was doing one thing- reading- and no other thing. I'm going to photocopy the chapter for my tdoc.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind
2. Participate
3. One-mindfully
4. Effectiveness
5. Problem solving
6. Accumulate positives
7. Build mastery
8. Willingness

All of these skills overlapped in a lot of ways today. I got up early and got started on the housework. Ludmilla was banging the kitchen cabinets so to stop her I started the vacuum. That got her to go hide. Then I swept and mopped the floors since I was into the cleaning mode. I took the rugs out and shook them on the front porch.

I got in the shower because I wanted to go out today. When I went to leave I saw a big bird poop on my car, so I went to the car wash. Then I went to Old Navy to exchange some pants. I was home in time for lunch.

I spent the afternoon reading, interspersed with breaks to play with the cats, trim nails, give Sabrina a bath, run to Trader Joe's for the cereal I like, clean out my car, and put all the bottles to go back in my trunk. I am so freakin' organized! And I did all this with a lot of willingness.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- Yeah, in dealing with my card group. I have feelings but I use my rational mind not to share them.
2. Participate- Played Scrabble online, went to the grocery store, played cards; all in full "participate" mode.
3. Non-judgmental stance- I invited my sis to come to a card meetup next month.
4. One-mindfully- This was hard when I had the laundry in the dryer and I wanted it to de done so I didn't have to commit to being awake. At 6:30 PM. Yup.
5. Effectiveness- Instead of stewing about needing groceries I just got in the car and went and got them. Emailed HR because I didn't get the email cc of all my timesheets and I want to make sure they get my hours right before they run payroll.
6. Figure out interpersonal goals- Invite to sis= strengthen our relationship.
7. Attend to relationships- See above. Stopped by to show Scott my warthog vertebra.
8. Opposite-to-emotion action- Groceries.
9. Accumulate positives- Playing. Brushing Sabrina. Cleaning up (somewhat) the mess in my closet so now my socks are paired instead of a bunch of loners all over the place. Clean clothes. Fresh sheets on the bed. Food in the house. Laid in bed this morning with Ludmilla and she drooled on me while I petted her. Changed kitty litter. Made a list of chores to do on Monday.
10. Build mastery- Won at cards. Won a few games of Scrabble. Went to Fred Meyer on a weekend.

What skills should I have used today?

I called in sick because my right shoulder is totally out of whack. But I went back to bed and was up and down-- mostly down-- all day until about 6. These are the skills that would have been helpful:

1. Wise mind- Acknowledging my emotions, but being reasonable about why I was having them. I felt ashamed for staying in bed all day. Reason mind says I needed the rest.
2. Non-judgmental stance- I judged myself for missing work.
3. One-mindfully- I could have (and tried to some extent) to just be OK with reading and accept that in that moment that was my reality.
4. Effectiveness- Getting out of bed earlier would have led to less negative feelings abut myself.
5. Accumulate positives- This didn't happen.
6. Build mastery- Nope.
7. PLEASE (tend to physical ills, eating, avoid drugs, sleep, exercise)- I guess I did this, in that I slept when my body said it needed to.
8. Radical acceptance- Didn't happen.

What skills did I use yesterday?

Yesterday I had the day off. Although I dragged my feet, I was out the door before noon. I finally got my hair cut. I exchanged a pair of pants at Old Navy then went back to the beauty school for a pedicure. I was tired in the evening and laid down to read and went to sleep early.

I called HR and asked about disability accommodations (do I go through HR or my boss?) and I was promised a call back but didn't get it.

The biggie for today was talking for almost a half hour with the woman who is doing my disability review for Social Security. Turns out I was sent for a psych review because someone made a mistake and put in my file that my most recent psychiatric care was in 08, not 09 (when I filled out the forms). So they never got pdoc records. The lady is going to request them now that she understands. She also strongly hinted, but didn't say outright, that my case will be renewed.

1. Wise mind- I knew I would feel better about myself if I accomplished things, so I did them. Even though it is emotionally challenging to do some of the things I did.
2. Observe- I used this skill when I was at the mall and I noticed my anxiety increasing.
3. Participate- I was getting antsy at the pedicure and I tried to be in the moment. It seems like no matter where I am or what I am doing, I am thinking about other places to be/things to do. So I tried to just be in the moment, feeling the warm water on my feet, noticing what the beauty students with free time were reading and trying not to judge, asking my beauty student questions about herself.
4. Non-judgmental stance- I saw someone reading a Nora Roberts book. I give myself half credit on this one.
5. One-mindfully- This seems a lot like "participate" in the way I used this skill at the beauty school.
6. Effectiveness- I called ahead and knew that my guy at the beauty school would not be there. but I went anyway because I really needed a trim and thought I would let someone else cut my hair. It needed to be done. The big one: I called HR and asked who I need to talk to about disability accommodations. I did not get a call back.
7. Problem solving- Calling HR. Calling the Disability Svcs woman.
8. Accumulate positives- Reading. Haircut. Pedicure.
9. Mindfulness of current emotion- Lots of this today, at various points.
10. Willingness- It took willingness to pick up the phone and make those calls,

Fuzzy Thinking

I took a Klonopin and now lack the capacity to review the skills I used today. I used 'em alright, but I am fading fast.

The Actual Diary Card

The Actual Diary Card

Road Trip Pics

St. Johns Bridge through the trees.

Ship in the port.

Interpersonal Effectiveness Homework Templates

Goals and Priorities in Interpersonal Situations

Observing and Describing Interpersonal Situations 1

Observing and Describing Interpersonal Situations 2

Using Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills 1

Using Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills 2

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- I think I had a pretty balanced day. My right shoulder hurts and I had a fair amount of concern about showing up for an early shift, but I made it there-- early-- and did the work I needed to do.
2. Effectiveness- I got in the shower almost as soon as I woke up (after I put the coffee on) so that I would be motivated to stay up and go to work. I ran out of cat food and made an emergency run to the grocery store, but that was all I bought. No impulse purchases. I ate all of my meals at home and didn't get any take-out coffee.
3. Attend to relationships- Called a friend with news she needed to hear today. Made friendly-like gestures to a new coworker.
4. Problem solving- Did this at work; the new coworker had no experience with the task, PLUS, we did it a different way this time, so we had to problem-solve how to do the workflow.
5. Accumulate positives- Took a nap. Picked up a book that was on hold at the library and started reading it.
6. Build mastery- Scanned a ton of documents for this blog (more to come) and spent a lot of time working on it.
7. Distract/self-soothe/improve the moment- Laid on my bed with Ludmilla this afternoon. The shoulder thing is right irksome, and I needed a break. I turned on the nightstand lights and read for a while, even though that is counter to sleep hygiene.

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handouts

Situations for Interpersonal Effectiveness

Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness

Factors Reducing Interpersonal Effectiveness

Myths About Interpersonal Effectiveness

Cheerleading Statements for Interpersonal Effectiveness

Options for Intensity...1

Options for Intensity...2

Suggestions for Interpersonal Effectiveness Practice 1

Suggestions for Interpersonal Effectiveness Practice 2

Getting What You Want 1

Getting What You Want 2

Keeping Relationships

Self-Respect

Consequence vs. Threat

Validation 1

Validation 2

10 Thoughts on Whole Living

Balance 1

Balance 2

Balance 3

DBT orientation handouts

Egads; cart-before-horse! I should have put this stuff up weeks ago.

What is DBT?

In Defense of Sensitivity

Definition of Dialectics

Assumptions of DBT

Goals of Skills Training

Behaviors to Decrease/Suicide

Behaviors to Decrease/ Therapy-Interfering 1`

Behaviors to Decrease/ Therapy-Interfering 2

Behaviors to Decrease/Quality of Life

Behaviors to Increase

Behaviors for the Tdoc to Decrease

Guidelines for Skills Training

Absences in DBT

DBT Class Structure

Diary Card Check-In

Therapist Agreements in DBT

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- Oh, yeah! I was hungry toward the end of my shift, but kept in mind that it was not too long before I would be home for lunch. I took my meds early and set an alarm for 5 because I have a super-early shift in the morning. I'm trying not to stress about the possibility of not making it to work on time.
2. One-mindfully- I was so "one-mindfull" when I shelved books today.
3. Attend to relationships- Talked to the supervisor at the location where I worked today. Gave positive feedback. Wrote letters to Social Security and the Disability Determination Services folks. Paid a bill. I guess this is more problem-solving.
4. Accumulate positives- Worked on this blog! Did my laundry! Washed dishes!

MIndfulness handouts

Mindfulness 1

Mindfulness 2

Mindfulness 3

Mindfulness 4

Mindfulness 5

Mindfulness 6

Mindfulness 7

Mindfulness 8

Mindfulness 9

Mindfulness 10

Mindfulness 11

DBT client agreement pages

DBT client agreement page 1

DBT client agreement page 2

DBT client agreement page 3

DBT client agreement page 4

Who took her meds before she posted?

Me, me, me.

ZZZZZZZZ.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- I'm so balanced with my rational mind and my emotional mind right now. I'm in the sweet spot in the Venn diagram.
2. Participate- Asked people how I could help (after an event at work, during the clean-up). I think Ludmilla wants me to get off the computer and spend more time participating with her.
3. Non-judgmental stance- I discussed this with a friend. Awareness is supposed to lead to improvement, I do believe.
4. Problem solving- I had to ask for direction at work today to ensure that I was doing what I needed to be most effective.

A pretty interesting conversation with a friend about self-help and how there are some basic things, but, as Zippy says "Find a need and fool it."

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- I think today was pretty balanced. I decided to go to work as a way of making myself go and smile at strangers and be helpful.
2. Effectiveness- Picking up a shift last-minute was a good idea financially.
3. Problem solving- I laid on the floor with the cats when I got home tonight in order to stop them (well, mostly Ludmilla) from slamming cupboard doors. Some quality time with the cats.
4. Willingness- One of my coworkers is on light duty and I stopped her from doing grunt work that she shouldn't be doing. I shlepped books, pushed carts, ughhh, but this is a good idea relationship-wise.

What skills did I use today?

Skillsapalooza!

1. Wise mind- Emotionally I wanted to stay in bed, but I considered the opportunity cost of doing that-- losing a day's pay-- and went to work.
2. Participate- Gave it all at work.
3. Effectiveness- Paid bills, working on the ant problem, giving Ludmilla attention.
4. Opposite-to-emotion action- Getting in the shower.
5. Problem solving- Cleaning the counter with a stronger cleaner to deter the ants. Putting gas in the car.
6. Pros and Cons- Go to work, or no?
7. Willingness- Doing my job, getting groceries,

What skills did I use today?

1. Problem-solving
2. Effectiveness

I cancelled my DBT trip in order to go to an urgent pdoc appt. He gave me a new drug; I took a full tab when I should have taken half. Right now I am very tired and thinking about going to bed.

I have to return to work in the morning and I am concerned about getting my act together to appear with it enough to get through the day.

What skills did I use today?

1. Effectiveness- I got in the car and went to my psychodiagnostic interview.
2. Problem solving- I called my tdoc (no return call), my friend J, crisis, my sister, wow. I called everyone because I can't stop crying and this is even after the review.

Right now I am so depressed it is hard for me to do anything. The feedback I get-- read a book, draw a picture-- all seems impossible or leaves me cold. I know my task is to tolerate the distress, but I keep tolerating it and every day I wake up to more of it. My sister wants the contact info for my current treatment team.

What skills did I use today?

I tried to observe my distress.

What skills did I use today?

1. Wise mind- Hm. Not too sure how well I did on this. I spent most of the day in bed reading.
2. Observe- Tried to stay in the moment and just be aware of what is currently happening, not what might happen in the future.
3. Non-judgmental stance- Tried not to judge the fact that I was not productive today.